EXISTENTIAL CRISIS CREATOR RYAN MEEKS TALKS INSPIRATIONS, THE IMPORTANCE OF MEntal health, AND MORE
Zepstone Film Awards had the honor of interviewing the multitalented Ryan Meeks - podcaster and musician - about the ZFA award-winning music video entitled “Existential Crisis,” by T.G.R.I. He discusses his influences, including Renaissance painter Caravaggio (a personal favorite of ours), overcoming obstacles as an artist, and the important message of “letting others in’ when experiencing depression. This is a message that we can all relate to: You are not alone in your mental health journey.
ZFA: What got you started in this industry?
Ryan: I feel every day that I am still starting. In fact, every time I think of a new project it feels like I am doing it for the first time. But I think my interest in filmmaking started when I started watching Film Riot, D for Darious and DSLR guide on YouTube. I had already finished my college degree in Film and Media Arts, but it was in animation. I really never wanted to pick up a camera. It seemed like too much work. But then after college, I couldn't get a job as an animator. But one day, I got a job as a graphic designer, and they wanted me to do video. So I started doing training videos, and I couldn't remember all the crash courses that I took in college because my emphasis was in 3D animation. So I turned to YouTube. Then, I started to just nerd out about lighting and lenses and making an image look good… and that is when I thought that I really didn't want to make these training videos anymore. I would rather make something.... cool.
ZFA: Who/What was your biggest influence?
Ryan: If we are talking about artistic influence, Carravaggio for sure! After I got my degree in film and media arts and before I got that graphic designer job, I actually went back to school for a year or so. I couldn't get a job in animation. I didn't even hear back from companies. One of my close friends was the head concept artist for Blizzard at the time, and even he wouldn't even help me. I thought that maybe I was just terrible at what I do. So I went back to school for another year with the help of some of my friends in the EAE program to help me get into the video game Master's program as an animator. So I had to start another degree to take those master's classes, and I thought that painting and drawing would be beneficial. In the end I did four master's level classes and still didn't get into the program. But I found this artist named Carravaggio. and His painting "The Calling of Saint Matthew" has been the style that I aim for when I create an image.
ZFA: Where did you film this project? How long did it take?
Ryan: I filmed it in three locations. My living room, my garage, and Tunnel Springs Park. I did it all in one day. Editing took a few weeks.
ZFA: What was your biggest challenge during this project?
Ryan: My biggest challenge was finding locations on no budget. I spent months leading up to the shoot date going through contacts websites - anything that would help me find a location where I could film a band. If you don't have money, it is nearly impossible to film a band anywhere. If you have just a single artist, you can do it guerrilla style; but with a band and drums, it is near impossible to do it that way. So a few days leading up to the shoot, I said screw it, I'll line my garage with these black sheets and light it up and film it in there. I had a similar issue with finding a room for the narrative. People don't like to let film crews in without insurance or money to film in their abandoned houses. It's kinda nutz.
ZFA: What was the most memorable moment on set?
Ryan: For me, it was some friends that came through last minute to help me out. I had an actor line up, and then last minute he couldn't do it. I totally understand that. There was no payment, and so I understand how it is hard to take pro bono projects seriously. But I was determined to get this done that day. I called everyone, and one of my friends really came through for me. And I just remember, when I was about to just say, “Okay I'll act direct and be the drummer”, LOL, my good friend called and said “Hey, I'll do it.”
ZFA: What would you like this message to accomplish?
Ryan: This music video is about suicide. I hope people see it and remember to reach out to each other. We have a big problem with letting people reach out to us in our society. We put up walls and then wallow in our depression and anxiety, and then we blame everyone else for it. It is so bad that people are afraid to help others out because of the fear of it being taken the wrong way. I am a big fan of the hug. I believe if people would just hug more, we would put down our walls more often. So I guess my message is: "Let others in."
ZFA: Where can we find you? How can we follow your work?
Ryan: Filmmaking for me is put on the back burner until I get a few scripts written that I am working on. Unfortunately for me, writing is a long and slow process. It may take a few years. In the meantime, I started a podcast at KSL Podcasts called “The Path of Art,” where I interview creatives about how they are finding success in a field that everyone told them not to go into. The Path of Art podcast is on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok, also Spotify and wherever you listen to your podcasts. My band, which is featured in the music video, is called “TGRI,” and we have a Facebook and YouTube page. You can also find TGRI on Spotify. I am also starting an acoustic project on the side with a bunch of songs that I have written. I'll probably make some music videos there, but I need to get my songs recorded first. So... stay tuned for that.
